wookiespanker (wookiespanker) wrote in randomly_cool,
wookiespanker
wookiespanker
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I lied, here's a post already!

I spent the day with Pop Mexicorn today. It was fun until he stole my shoes and ended up face down in a ditch, that bastard. No, death is not a harsh punishment for stealing my shoes. In fact, I was very merciful with Pop Mexicorn. It all started early this morning, around 11:59 am. Pop Mexicorn woke me up by pulling me up to my feet by my left eyebrow, like he normally does. Pop Mexicorn is Enchilada’s giant uncle (see my lj for more info on Enchilada, the Impulse Turkey), and he’s a total asswad. This was the fifth time he had done this, and each time my eyebrow got longer and floppier, and after 5 times my left eyebrow was hanging down below my chin. The problem with eyebrow stretching is that it eventually goes back to normal(if you let it), so if you trim it while it’s stretched, it recedes back into your head and doesn’t grow back for a while. So right when I woke up I was pretty pissed off at Pop Mexicorn. Throughout the day he did stuff to piss me off, and I told him that if he didn’t stop bothering me I’d have an early thanksgiving, just like me and Old Quiet Man Whispers did when Old Quiet Man Whispers finally defeated his nephew. I was walking down the street later that day with Pop when we both noticed an orphanage burning down. All of the kids were still on the third floor (the second and first floors were a fireworks storageroom and a lit match storage room, respectively), and I thought it would be nice if I could save them. I took off my shoes to save them when I noticed that they actually weren’t my shoes at all. Well, I have a phobia about saving people without my own shoes strapped around my neck, so all I could do was sit and watch as all of the children burned too a golden crisp, not overcooked, but also not too rare. When the rest of the city showed up, they saw me in front of the orphanage. Pop had ran. I ended up getting beat by every citizen for not saving the kids. Now my balls don’t work like they use to(very diligently) and I’m crippled from my waist down to my waist (that’s right. Now if I drop the soap in the shower, I stay dirty for the rest of the day). I knew Pops had to pay for his inconsideracyness, so I killed him, and put him in a ditch. Then I put some charcoal around him and had myself an early thanksgiving. I sent the leftovers to Quiet Old Man Whispers. Just kidding. Me and Pop Mexicorn just played Nintendo all day.
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