Name: Sam B.
Astrological sign: Aquaaaarriiiiuuuussssss
Date of last menstrual cycle: I'm a man, so about one week ago.
Favorite music genre: Fluctuates. Hardcore punk was the last one. Now it's folk.
Favorite song: "Hobo Chang Ba" by Captain Beefheart
Favorite color: Orange. This is the best application ever.
Favorite thing to do in your spare time: Experiment with psychoactive chemicals, drive around
Favorite food: Artichokes.
I wanna know
Tell me 3 things a gorilla can do on mars that it can't do on Earth: 1) Eat a Mars banana. 2) Float 3) Invade Earth with laser beams
If I were to spring off of a giant marshmallow into a pool of butter what would happen?: I would eat myself, beacase, well, you know.
School uniforms are: Ribbed for your pleasure.
I like to lick on lollipops because: Boss says if I don't finish all of these lollipops by Tuesday he will repossess my mother.
The only way to kill a giraffe is to: Strangle it during sex.
What do you think of when you look at a stop sign: DOLE/KEMP '96
Why do you think you're random?: Yes! Lots of times!
Has anyone ever told you you were crazy?: Only when they wake up in my basement.
Which is better, and why
Hotdogs or hamburgers: Hot dogs, and you damn well know why.
mustard or mayonnaise: I loathe and despise them both. But if I had to choose, I would cut myself until I passed out, because they both suck.
pink or purple: Pink. More macho.
roosters or chickens: Roosters. Bacause they go on top of the fence post. The chickens go in my tummy, and then I poop them out again. Except for the nutrients, which I save and then poop out later. So roosters then.
tennis balls or baseballs: Tennis balls, bacause this totally hot babe I know plays tennis. She's really hot. Trust me on this one.
football or hockey: Tennis.
rectangle: chunga's Revenge